Christie Mawer
Ladies, how many fitness classes or pieces of equipment have you bought? How many weight loss programs have you tried? How many times have you, even in passing, thought about plastic surgery? How often have you wished you had better clothes? You are not alone, it’s common to have the feeling that if we just fix this or that about ourselves we’ll feel happy and fulfilled.
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but that is misguided. It comes from our consumer culture. If I have/do/am this or that life will be better, if not perfect. How many times have you gotten something that you thought would make you happy and have it last a short time, if at all?
You buy those great shoes and think they’re the cat’s meow, until you wear them for a few hours and your feet throb so you throw them in the closet to gather dust. You meet “the man of your dreams” only to discover that he’s just as flawed and insecure as the last man you thought was “the one”. You lose 40 pounds, but still obsess over the last 10 that just won’t seem to go away.
According to the paper The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness, women are less happy than they have ever been. Despite all our advancements, we are not happy.
What do I do to make it better? The answer is simple, and difficult. Love yourself. OK, that may seem a little much. How about starting by LIKING yourself.
Who is the most judgemental person in your life? No, it’s not your mother in law, your husband or your boss. It’s you. No one is as hard on us as we are. Let’s start by giving ourselves a break.
But how?
1. When you look in the mirror start to see what you like. Silence the judgements. Appreciate your beautiful eyes, your skin, your hands – whatever it is you find beautiful.
2. Focus on what you do right. We can do 100 things well in a day but we will dwell on that one false word or deed for weeks. Dwell on the 100 good things.
3. Do something every week just for you. No matter how busy you are, take time for you. Read, do a craft, get a pedicure or massage – do something, ANYTHING that makes you smile and feel good.
4. Accept compliments graciously. How often have you met a compliment with “oh, this old thing” or “it was nothing”. A compliment is a gift. Accept it with a smile and thank you.
5. Hire a coach. A coach will help you discover where you’re holding yourself back and help you see yourself in a new light.
You deserve to be happy. Start with baby steps. Take time to appreciate how far you’ve come and celebrate your progress. You may be surprised at what changes with a few little adjustments in perspective.
Christie Mawer
www.thebadkitty.com
christie@thebadkitty.com
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